Unhappy..

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 Feeling 0 Comments

I have a kind of feeling..
Which cannot be told, cannot be sense..
I have it all the time, especially the time when I feel down..
I don't know how to describe it, it's just a feeling..
Words are important for people..
Because words can reflect emotions, different kind of it..
Anger, happy, sad, moody.. Whatever..
I wish I can, how I wish I can, I can do the things that I don't dare to try..
Well, maybe I won't let myself feel regret anymore..
Can you feel that I am unhappy?
Can you tell?
I am "writing" my unhappy here.. A lot a lot of it..
It's getting cooler and cooler that I felt..
I am wondering..
I am unhappy..

The End..

Saturday, October 23, 2010 Feeling , Sharing , Songs 0 Comments

It's going to end, end this kind of life..
Well, frankly, I am really enjoy this life- away from assignments, mid-term, exams..
There is nothing much to worry about, as I just have to complete my daily task only..
After this two months, I have to go back to study life, all is back to normal, study, lecture, mid-term, final exam, assignments and the most scary one- Final Year Project..
Been through these few months, I have learned many things, no matter is from my colleagues, my dear or myself..
I feel so sad that I am going to leave this place soon..
But sometimes I felt this is somehow a kind of "relief"..
Relief of... ?
I wondering..
Sometimes I felt guilty, it's true..
It's just like I have done so many wrong things..
Maybe is was wrong from the beginning, very early beginning I think..
What if.. I can turn back the time, I wish I won't do anything that will make me feel guilty afterwards..
Recently I have knew one words from an article,
"难过了，就蹲下来，抱抱自己。"
Sounds so right is it?
When there is no one can give you words of comfort or even a hug, the only one who can give is just you yourself..
Maybe will feel alone when the time hugging you yourself..
I want to learn not to cry that easily, don't let anything to disturb my emotion, as my emotion is that really unstable..
Maybe I should learn that too, hugging myself when I felt sad..
Does that sounds sad? I knew, it does..
I love this song, I don't know what is the reason..
Maybe I like the title that tell me, "Need You Now"..



It's nice to listen, isn't it?
I need you now, no matter what happens the next..

Nightmares.. Reality..

Wednesday, October 13, 2010 Feeling 0 Comments

I have several nightmares these few nights..
It is really nightmares that I will suddenly wake up from sleep, but I don’t quite remember what I have dream about..
I don’t like the feeling, the feeling that I am losing someone that I cherish much.. Like my siblings, my beloved and my everything..
Things are getting tougher till now, seemed like I didn’t get well performance during these few months.. I have tried, to do my best while somehow I can’t get what I wish for..
My health is getting worst, don’t even know what is the actual problem I have.. Tried all the medicine, and I am still can’t get through it.. What happen to me? The one I used to be healthy? Where can I find back my health?
Nightmares are terrible, but reality is much more that terrible..
Sometimes when I wake up I every morning, I should be thankful, because I am still alive..
I know I should be optimistic to face every challenges, must be strong..
I knew there is someone that will accompany me whenever I am in what situation..
You told me, “you still have me no matter what have happen to you..”
Someone may not be happy forever, things will change and so the people..
Nothing will last forever, right? To me, yes..
I hate my attitude and so are you, what should I do?
Argue with you? Explain with all the excuses?
I really have nothing much to say, just a word of “sorry”..
I believe, people when argue, will forget all the good you have and remember just the bad side of you..
I wonder, will my nightmares come true?
I don’t want any nightmares anymore, I don’t want to wake up with shock in the middle of nights anymore..
Why I will still have nightmares when I am in happinese?
Suddenly I like morning, when I sat at the balcony, and watch at the sky, I felt peace..
But you didn’t accompany me at there.. No matter how long I waited for you, you will never come for me..
I knew you hate me.. Really hate..
Just sorry.. I can’t be that perfect for you..