Just now I drive my ah wek (my car's nickname) for dinner. But accidentally scratch its front face with the bar at the entrance. Owhh, so pity. Just few days driving it only, and already adding in scars on its face and body :'( Don't worry, I will learn hard to drive you and wont let you have major injuries one :)

Okie, updates tomorrow. Good night world :)

Firstly, is a good news. I bought a car, finally. And it marks the new beginning for my future life. Meant, I need to find a new job already. Because of car, I can travel myself, so no matter need to work at where, wont have too much limitation already.

But this car maybe not a perfect car. Actually it is 16 years old. Been change for two owners before. The interior condition is not that good. Need to spend some money to repair it. But anyway, anyhow, it's my decision to buy it. I should take care of it from now on :)

Oh ya, forgot to tell you the name of my new companion, Toyota Seg AE111 Year 1996, dark blue in colour :)

All right, time to sleep, stay tuned for tomorrow's updates.

I have seen one situation, maybe it's not to obvious to be seen.
My friends are less blogging nowadays. Ya, of course it does include me. But I am because of busy then don't have time to blog. But I think most of them just simply forget about blogging.

Yes, sure. Got new phone to play with, got new lappy to play with, got lot of works to do, etc etc.

Maybe I just one of them. Busy working, and forget my actual life. I have been thinking for so long, what I am going to do for the rest of my life?

On this current stage, I should have stable work, but in fact, I am not. I should have stable relationship as well, but in fact, it is not as stable as other people thinking of. I should have earn and save lot of money, but in fact, I do save a lot and I spent a lot too.

How to carry on if it is like that? I wonder..

I prefer a simple life. If I could, or my life makes me, I don't want to have such hactic life. Having freelance work all the day and night. Working on home, typing on keyboard, scrolling with the mouse. Really feel sick with it.

If I could, I wont take so hard on myself. I wish for a better life style which I can't achieve now.

Sigh, I hope, tomorrow will be a better day for me.

It's been too busy for these few weeks.

I can now totally feel it by myself. With heavy workload, and I still try to be relax and happy.

I went for interview today. It's quite a good experience for me, though I don't think I will accept the offer on the end. The offer is still consider low for me and the future heavy workloads for me as well.

Maybe by staying at this current company wont bring me any troublesome. But yet, it will, because we need to move to sunway soon!

And I don't like there. Because it is far from home and mean that I might need to get a car and drive to there by myself. Soon I will need to be a totally independent girl. Nope, it is woman. ><

With hands typing on the keyboard and clicking on the mouse. I felt tired, really. I feel like want to resign from my work and focus on my freelance. Like never ending task. Funny. Hmmm.

Tired. Tired. Tired..

It is the third day in chinese new year 2012.

Too tired, too free, too happy.

Yesterday went for gathering.

It's been 7 years, we didn't meet up.

An unfamiliar feel yet warm.

Maybe we have lesser topic to talk about.

And I have become quieter among them.

I have changed, haha.

Good or bad?

But no matter what.

I hope this kind of gathering can continue like yesterday :)

Miss you all.

This is really been soo long long time I didn't drop my note here.

After some emotion break down recently, some good and bad incidents happened.

And now, I am homed :)

Preparing to have Chinese New Year in 2012, a brand new year and a Dragon year.

Hope, everything will be just fine and the luck will always follow me.

Recently, my company faced a crisis.

Should I called it as a crisis?

Because the CEOs decided to separate the companies into two.

One goes to Kelana Jaya, outsourcing projects as their main job.

One stay at here, doing with merchants acquiring stuff.

But with a new CEO managing all the stuff here.

We don't have so called, Management people, HR department, Tech department, Finance department.

Because, they are under the another company.

Well, we were like the kids, they were like the parents.

Having divorce.

Fortunately, I still can do my own stuff, have my own responsibility.

This change, can say it doesn't affect me at all.

But, something good might happens to me (I think so).

The new CEO treats me quite well.

My colleague said he likes me.

LOL! is my first ever response.

Yes, I admitted.

He did praise about my skills in front of me.

He did mentioned that he wanted me to go for PHP training.

He did mentioned too that he was going to send me over to either Cheras or Sunway to join the development team to develop new gateway.

He is really kind a good person for me.

But for me, it is quite scary. Because I'm now directly report to him.

Hahha.

Well, just wait and see.

Most of the CEOs said the "air words".

They won't remember the promises they made before. Even just a minute before!

LOL!

My workload become heavier.

From my permanent side and also my freelance side.

Sometimes I felt sick, when doing with the HTML, CSS coding.

Because I'm dealing with it all day long!

That's also why I felt like quitting, wanna switch job, try new environment.

But somehow, I found out this is the only skill that I possessed and need me to enhance it much.

Maybe, I would be a very successful person in the future, with the skills I have!

Yes, I'm dreaming~

And now, I can start earn money, save money.

Wanna be a lady boss, own my own store.

Telling myself, keep going on!

To make your dreams come true!

Thank you for being there all the time when I need you.

Love you b :)

I will only cry when I hear this song from the radio.
It touched my heart.
Maybe is because of the lyrics, or the song itself.
It just touched my heart.
Especially when I hear it during my sad time.
I can cry out well.

Don't know been how many times, I cried in office, my working place.
Funny, isn't it?
How can a staff crying in the middle of working, so unbelievable.
But, I just did it.
Maybe, when working, I just cry out as much as I could.
That's my own space after all.

I am now on diet schedule.
Try not to eat oily stuff, food made of carbohydrate, drink lots of water, do slight exercise.
Ya, now I know, I am getting fat.
Got two layers of tires on my stomach area already :(
*sigh*

I like girls talk with my sisters.
They are not my real sisters though.
But, when in the time I am unhappy, they will still be there for me.
To cheers me up, to provide ideas, tells jokes, just want to make me happy.
Thank you to all my darling, not to mention here, but, you are the one who really make me feel comfortable with.
Thanks darling, sweetie :)

Another "cold" night, how to get it over?
I also wonder.

Gonna have long talk here these few days.
Felt like coming back to a fake life.
*sigh*

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well,...for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy: But..Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her.

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you 

were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy: Well, she..

His Best Friend:You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s

broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me? 

His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? 

You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened..

Once again, I broke down.

I don't even know how to explain, how to speak a word, how to face it.

What I wish for, is to find a place and hide myself in.

I am scare to face the reality.

Too cruel.

I know it is bad for me to find out all these, but I have to.

I have the rights to know, isn't it?

I'm not healthy.

I scare, I will just leave the world one day.

Is there anyone out there can be here for me?

When I doesn't feel like talking, feel like laugh or smile?

Anyone?

I used to laugh a lot to cover up all my sadness.

That's my life.