It's been so long.

It's been so long.
So long that I didn't write a post at here. So long that I didn't express my feeling here.
Well, I think that is kind of hard. Hard for me to talk a lot about recent me and recent thing.

It's been so long.
So long since I have graduated from university and been working for 2 years plus now. So long since I forgot the way how I do my work, my assignments and projects.
Think that I have seldom place that passionate into my work now. How come?

It's been so long.
So long and it is been almost 5 years since the day we separated. So long that I almost forgot your voice and the way you sing.
I think, this is really the time for me to move on over you and the pass. Look forward.

It's been so long.
So long that I have stay at the strange place from the most familiar place of mine, my warm home. So long that I never spent more than 5 days with my family since many years ago.
I really hope that I could always be with them and make myself the one to start taking care of them from now on.

Yes, it's been so long and I'm 25 years old now.
Consider a woman and not a girl anymore.
I hope, really hope that the time can walk slowly, so that I can accompany my family more than I could now.


Dear God, I knew you will always listen to me when I need you. Including this time, right?
Thank you, for always being there for me. Thank you.
Read More

29032013

也不知道最近是怎么了，会突然很想自己一个人，好好的反省以前的自己。
犯过了什么错，做过了什么，错过了什么，还有后悔了什么。

女人啊，总是没有办法好好的珍惜眼前的人，总是会去期待那些不可能的人。
或许我的感情缺乏安全感吧。我总是不敢再去想的太多，不要去期待那么多，因为我知道，我期待的那些梦幻，完美的感情生活，应该没有可能发生。

我知道，他和她分开了。
我心想，怎么了？好好的，怎么分开了。
然后，我笑了，当初我们分开的时候，朋友们应该也是这么想的吧。
好好的，怎么分开了？

这么多年过去了，我还是学不会原谅，原谅他当年对我做过的一切。
我还是很幼稚吧！男朋友说，放下吧，这么多年了，什么都过去了，还是朋友。
可是，对我来说，那当然已经过去了，可是我还是没有办法原谅。
当然，我现在过得很好，很开心。
我也希望他过得好。

可是我的心还是会痛，还是会恨。
不知道是为了什么。

快25岁了。已经不可以再用“女孩”这个字眼了。
心，是平静的。
其实已经没有在那么期待什么惊喜啊，特别的事情的发生。
可能，是已经习惯了吧。

我只期待着，一个肯定，一个安全感的到来。
Read More

Unreachable.

Today, at office, my colleague was playing Jay's songs.
Everytime I listen to Jay's songs, I will think about him.
We share the same memory with Jay's songs.
Sometimes, I still wish to know how is he, even though I have made up my mind that I will forget him and never to get in touch with him.
He is a memory for me. Just like the way he treated me.

I used to be proud when people is asking me, how long you been together with your bf?
How you two will get together? What is the secret of how you two been so sweet all the while?
But, not now anymore.

It's not because I have lose faith with our love.
It's not because I don't love him or he don't love me anymore.
Just that, people only see the appearance, what is actually happen between us, they don't even know it.

I always envy people who gets married, being proposed in a very romantic and sweet way.
I will wish this would happen on me as well, one day, maybe we still together.

To be sincere, I can hardly imagine my future.
I don't know what I will do, who I will become and so many things.
I don't even dare to think about it.
It's like, beautiful things are just too far to reach for me.
Like, unreachable.
Read More

Updates: 19082012

Maybe I didn't go through any situation before, because my future was set since the day I was born to this world and family.
I felt weird, that I didn't react bad when the time I was treated strict by my mum.
Maybe I was just too obedient already.
Or just maybe I don't have the guts to react or talk back or fight back gua.

From primary school, secondary school, university until now, going out for work.
The path was seem so simple. Yet, is part in the life.
I wondered, how did I make it till now.
Haha, it is like a miracle for me.

Next wednesday, will be a brand new start for me.
New job, new environment and I will need to drive to work.
Well, I hope that I can adapt to it soon and good la, of course I must think in this way.

For you, maybe I didn't know what's on your mind.
Somehow I can know some of feeling. The feeling of wanting to do the things which you like but family is not supporting you at all.
You wish to fight back, but all the outcomes shown that you are wrong in this situation.
What else to hold on?
Wasn't the family meant the most important in life?

Hope He can help you :)
Read More

Updates: 12082012

I thought I could have my own time for resting and doing own stuff after handing in my resignation letter.
But I was wrong, I am still having busy like hell life now.
I think I will going crazy if continue doing projects non-stop like this.

Everytime repeating the same coding, same structure, same word, same layout..
Really feel like, aih, I don't know how to describe it anymore.

I wish my job can cover my expenses, eventhough I think it might cover almost everything,
but still need to do extra, so that I can live my life even better than this.

Our life is, we can't do anything if without money on hand.
So realistic.

Yet, I should be proud with my job.
I can win recognition from my boss, my job provider, my friends.
Feeling good when they praise on me and my work :)
That might comfort my heart well.

It's been one year working in KL.
How's my life?
I can say, just like usual.
We didn't do any special outing, we watch movie once in a couple week.
I did online shopping instead of going out to shopping mall.
It prove, I couldn't live without my pc now.
So miserable. T.T

Ok, well, I am quite look forward for my next job and working environment,
eventhough I might be having busy life after that.
Hopefully I can do as what I can to impress my future boss :)

God bless me and you all as well :)
Read More

Move On

我看到，有人很想把自己变得更好，比方说，变得更有钱。
为的，只是想让她回心转意。
其实，我不知道应该给什么反应才是最适当的。
我是一个，连说话都会迁就别人的人，我很少会很坚持自己的见解。

我老是对他说，Move On。
也不知道他是不是真的有听进去。
只是到现在为止，我还没有看见他真正的放下。
到底为的是什么呢？
应该没有人知道和了解吧。

如果换作是我自己，又会怎么办？
是不是真的很难放下？

可是如果不放下的话，又要怎么 Move On 呢？
Read More

Glad for you.

Viewing my friend's photos in Facebook.
She is now in New Zealand, a totally new environment for her. Yet, I feel so happy for her that she seems like adapt quite well at there.

Suddenly, I feel like missing her a lot.
She is one of my close friend in University. We used to go class together, meeting each other in the shuttle bus, being group members, rushing for projects together etc.
It's really a long time didn't meet up with her. But through her photos, I can know how good she is now :)

And she made me have the feeling to go for vacation, or follow her working in New Zealand.
I always hope for a nice and happy vacation. Even though I got no passport on hand, never been to Singapore, never fly with airplane.
Our life now, is busy. Too pack to squeeze out some time to have vacation.

I wish to leave here actually.
Go out and see this world, to see how beautiful it is.
I am just a typical simple girl, who wish to have beautiful memory, before I getting old and couldn't go further.
Read More

19 July.

I think I should be happy.
Got much job on hand, upcoming one, rushing one, completed one.
I really should feel happy for it.
For the greatness that God brought for me.
Yet, felt tired.

Today was the first time, client called me and rush for me.
Haha, really the very first time. Because I could say, most of the time I will complete the task on time.
Just, everytime after work, just don't feel like working anymore.
Wish to take break, watch drama, facebook-ing etc.
Just do whatever I want.
But, I couldn't lahh.

Did you notice? I just changed my blog skin today, in the office.
Haha, maybe I'm just too free to do so. Or, just want to free my time doing my own stuff.
Don't have much feeling to work in office. Waiting for the last day to come.

Yesterday was the premiere screening of Dark Knight Rises.
I won the tickets, but I cannot attend to it due to RCIA class.
What a pity. But luckily I gave the tickets to my colleague, and he did enjoyed a lot last night :)
And today, he brought me all the merchandise he got that night. So good!
The only one I liked the most among them is the X-mini Capsule Speaker. Most probably the most expensive one among them. LOL.
But anyway, thanks to P1, thanks to Venusbuzz :)

Yesterday class, we talked about who is God? Our Father?
A nice lesson, fulfill my curiosity towards this new religion ;)
Carry on, the day will come.
May God bless you :)
Read More

Very recent.

It's like, finally, FINALLY I tender the letter.
First time ever.
Really scare and nervous.
But it is really happy and relief that my colleagues are supporting me from leaving here.
Yea, I am all alone here, working on my own, no one to discuss with, handle project myself, really don't like this kind of working environment.

There is a lot on my mind actually, because there are really lot of things happened recently.
Like, I am start going for the RCIA class, every Tuesday night. Quite tired, coz need to travel after work. And, have to carry on for the rest of 48 weeks.
But I believe, it will pass, very fast.
I felt quite fresh and curious about this new religion too.
Would like to explore much with it, learn from my dear, everyone in the class.
Maybe something just too deep for me to understand, but luckily got dear there to help me answer every question I had. :)

Ok, where will I work later?
Tada, is in Sri Petaling. Ya, no more Taman Desa. Finally I'm out of this place. LOL.
It is an advertising company, I was hired as a web designer. But will be more focus on HTML 5, CSS 3, responsive web design & development and jQuery.
Yes it is really the time for m to polish my skill set on these. I have to become the Sifu at there. LOL.
I hope, I can cope with this well :)

And, I have bought new laptop, ASUS A53SM, nice spec, also quite pricey. Hmm, but for me, it is quite reasonable la. It got what I want ;)

Ok, that's much for the updates so far.
Will continue when got new stuff to share :)
Nite everyone~
Read More

Atmosphere.

The atmosphere here is full of down. sad. disappointment. anger. frustration.
I wish I could get out from this atmosphere as soon as possible.

Is it every boss out there is used to give dreams to their employees?
But they couldn't fulfill either one of the dreams?!
There's the disappointment of employees.

We put our effort here, yet, some can't get paid, don't have much benefits.
All is like, empty promises.

And now, I started to think and asking myself.
Why I am here? Why I chose to be here when the first decision making time?

I deserve the better working environment.
For sure, it's not here.
Read More
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)